Predator (1987): John McTiernan
Arnold, the jungle, muscles, aliens, grenade launchers: it gets no better than Predator.
ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: An alien hunter haunts the jungle tracking America’s finest soldiers. Continue Reading
Clash of the Titans hit theater in 2010, an homage and update on a classic 1981 film famous for its groundbreaking special effects. The updated Clash used terrific effects as well, but were hardly groundbreaking. This movie returns Sam Worthington to the role of Perseus, and with more hair.
ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: Perseus, half human son of Zeus, must save his father, and Greece, from the release of the monstrous titan Kronos. Continue Reading
Only Hollywood execs would make a movie with “Los Angeles” in its title and set it in Santa Monica. In their defense, most people in the world have never heard of Santa Monica, not so the titular city. Point taken. Title passes.
ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: A Marine squadron is the last gasp for humanity against an alien invasion off the coast of southern California. Continue Reading
Released one month after possibly the best virtual-reality action film in history (The Matrix), David Cronenberg gave us a trimmed down, world-within-a-world semi-action thriller called eXistenZ.
ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: A game designer targeted for murder flees alongside her colleague and is forced to play her game to determine who’s after her…or is it? Continue Reading
Nothing gets me excited for a movie like seeing the word HASBRO on the screen. A military science fiction film literally based on a board game, Battleship was a star vehicle for Friday Night Lights actors and Rihanna. If that sounds like a good time to you, by all means.
ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: Aliens attack Earth, and the only way to stop them is with a child’s board game. Continue Reading
What do you get when you combine Batman, an Oscar winner, and dragons? You get a movie that no one saw, but everyone should. You get Reign of Fire.
One of my guilty pleasures, I keep returning to Reign of Fire when I want to feel good about my own life. At least there aren’t thousands of dragons ruling the skies.
ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: England, burned under a dragon scourge, turns to Americans for salvation. Continue Reading
Once in a blue moon, actually much rarer than that, a movie comes along and rampages through the American landscape, a film engineered to terrorize and delight, which evolves moviemaking forever. Jurassic Park was one such movie.
Michael Crichton’s most famous novel was his most popular, and if such things were possible I’d tell you it sold best, too. But publishers withhold such information like they’re nuclear launch codes, so unless radioactive warheads start falling around us, I’ll just say it and we’ll assume it’s true.
ONE-SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: Dinosaurs rule the Earth again, and chomp on humans. Continue Reading
A movie about people partying in 1999, and not a Prince lyric to be heard. Instead, we were treated to the grunts and wisecracks of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
What’s left to do for Arnold? The guy’s fought aliens, fought terrorists, fought Danny Devito, fought labor pains. Well, could it be…SATAN? Why no; he’s the toppest of top dogs.
ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: Satan takes human form to make a baby, is opposed by a New York City ex-cop, doesn’t enjoy New Year’s Eve. Continue Reading
If 1996’s Independence Day is the Titanic, the 2016 sequel Independence Day: Resurgence, is the iceberg that sank it. Despite 20 years of buildup and inflated ticket prices, the sequel, which cost twice the original, is on track to make less than one-third of the original’s total.
Resurgence is a half-hour shorter than its predecessor while trying to pack in more characters than a Game of Thrones season.
ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: The aliens come back. Continue Reading
Today, we celebrate, Independence Day, not because it is a good movie, but because it is an AWESOME movie. Director Roland Emmerich has given us hits and misses, but the 1996 popcorn flick about an alien invasion starred Will Smith at the height of his powers and Jeff Goldblum at the apex of his, er, Goldblumness. Every eight-year-old boy’s fantasies of alien invasions were brought to the screen in theaters that July.
ONE SENTENCE PLOT SUMMARY: Belligerent space aliens are “welcomed” to Earth. Continue Reading